1/3 Next

You can light up a room like no one else 

You have this great brilliance about yourself

You’re the diamond that reflects 

All the feelings I collect 

You promised you’d come home 

But I found myself alone 

In the bedroom where you and I sleep together 

But recently I realized you’ve become bitter 

You needed your space you say 

So I gave in to your way 

But the moment I leave 

You couldn’t bear to be without me 

So imagine my heartache 

When you admitted you made a mistake 

You kissed someone else’s lips 

And after all our hardships 

This is how you end things? 

What about my feelings? 

You smirked when you told me 

How his lips tasted so sweetly 

That used to be me…

My insecurity creeps into my mind 

All of my ugly thoughts start to combine 

I look in the mirror and all I see 

Is that I can be more beautiful than this 

My face is distorted 

Overall my body looks contorted 

Photos of pretty girls online becomes so triggering 

Compared to them I am just a lowly being 

I rely on man made products to turn me into something else

If only I was blessed

With natural beauty 

But what is natural beauty?

Is it my face ridden with depressed scars

Or someone’s clear face that you will compare to the stars 

My hair that is dark as the night 

But does not shine under the light 

My body who holds my extra insecurities 

that can never be like other beauties 

and yet people think I am a fool not seeing my true beauty within

But they do not see the monster I see crawling on my skin

You cry because you cannot protect me 

You feel your status as a man has diminished 

I get angry because I hate to be seen as weak 

Don’t misunderstand just because I choose not to speak 

You say you feel like you’re falling apart 

But don’t worry, I’ll pick up your broken heart

Even if the patience makes my fingers bleed 

You were not everything I need 

My pride and independence stood between us 

I didn’t want to be depressed

I worked so hard to be the perfect partner

I didn’t want to be the chronic complainer 

I didn’t choose to be in this relationship so I can reminded of my mistakes

Because I knew you cannot handle my regrets 

The room becomes filled with the smoke of the cigarettes 

Are we going to choose to suffocate and then forget? 

Or will the pain of the past continue to break us… 

Not yet 

Not yet 

You show me the tears you never shed 

After all these years and this is how it ends 

I stand at a distance wanting to comfort you 

But I’m sorry, my past mistakes I cannot undo 

It’s silly to be hurt by the past 

I thought the pain has already passed 

I thought you were stronger than that 

I guess even you have your days where you cry at the drop of the hat 

But I will pick it up for you 

I will always pick it up for you 

Your lovely face 

The smile has been erased 

The one thing I tried to prevent 

I wish you knew that it’s not how it went 

Past is past 

You know I used to be an outcast 

I’m different than how I used to be 

But that reasoning will not take away your misery 

You just wanted to be loved 

And now I ruined your trust 

Because I said those words to someone else before 

But those words were forced 

It’s only you that I say it with meaning 

Yet your heart keeps on breaking 

I’m at a loss 

I don’t know how to get my apologies across 

You poor dear 

Your feelings has always been sincere 

You just wanted to be my only first love 

Please stop crying, that’s enough 

I’m so afraid to lose you 

I wish you can see that my heart is breaking too

Ashes of the fire flies wildly from the flame
The heat rages angrily as you call my name
What is it that you need from me this time?
Can you please wait while I finish this rhyme?

Oh, do you really want me now?
Alright, I’ll come, just tell me how
How you want it to be this time
How I’m going to mend this bond of a crime

Why is the one who gets hurt has to work for the forgiveness
Why does the efforts I have done become useless?
The frozen heart of yours I wanted to melt away
Now that it has, I hardly have seen the light of day

I need you too
When can I ever rely on you and address the issue?
I’m tired of crying by myself
While I have to take care of your health

I feel so alone
But if I turn negative then you’ll have me disowned
I’ve put up with every difficult thing you hand down
Yet you refuse to solve my frowns

You say you love me dearly
Even more than I possess, my Lovely
Can you do me a favor?
Will you please listen to your words and make us better?

I still have so much faith on your love
Though the heavens have not blessed me with anything above
But I’m afraid there will come a time where I’ll realize something

 That I’ll finally realize that you’re not worth everything 

It’s unsurprising that we’ve stopped talking 
You’re always like that when you don’t need something 
I’m starting to hate you, Best friend 
I’m done trying to forgive and defend

You’re too good at pretending it doesn’t matter 
All of our smiles looks fake in the pictures 
You say we’ll always be friends forever
Has anyone told you high school promises are not meant to be remembered? 

Yet it was nice when we would go out to eat 
And you would find your ex’s number and delete it
We laugh and talk about the adventures we’ve been in 
I would always wear the biggest grin

You’re the popular one and I’ve been the nice girl
You with your nice clothes and me with my loose curls 
You used to know how I act 
But even for two years, you seem to not notice I’ve been smacked 

People say that you’re not a true confidante 
I should have known that when we fought 
Even my enemies are more reliable than you
Isn’t that such a sad truth? 

But we’re best friends, right? 
Even if we haven’t been polite 
I almost calmed down
Until you point out the ugliness of my frowns

They say honesty is the best policy 
But have you even considered that your “honesty” hurts me? 
You seem to always point out my flaws 
You should accept me for who I am just because 

Still this is a sorry situation 
And all for the wrongs reasons 
People come and go 
I still can’t believe it had to be you though 

If there’s a hint of love in there
I just want to say you don’t have to care
I already have met other people and you know I already have fallen in love 
Haha, finally Life decides to bless me something from up above 

I’m happy, I have been for a long time 
I just wanted to forget when we went out of line 
Shouting, cursing and getting angry 
Who knew it have turned out so badly? 

I can’t even think of how you would feel 
Your happiness would seem so surreal 
But goodbye, Best friend 
It hurts so much to keep this pretend

It’s funny how I notice every little detail of you

From your short brown hair to the tips of your shoes

Speaking of your hair, has it always been this bright brown?

I swear it’s as shiny as a king’s crown

So does that mean, I’m your queen?

I love how your thin yet muscular arms envelopes my fragile frame in between

And your smile

makes my day worthwhile

And hearing you voice

It’s like a saving grace from all this depressing noise 

The bass coincides with the beating of my heart 

Crashing of the bass drums tears my soul apart 

While the guitar shreds what’s left of my worries 

I hear the singer sing a cover song from the 90’s 

Memories from my childhood flashes before my eyes 

And before I could even wonder why 

I feel the music pull me towards the stage 

And release my teenage rage

While it’s late in the evening 

I take pleasure in you talking 

Somehow your voice calms me down

And I never seem to frown

We laugh at the most mundane things 

Surely you can understand my feelings 

Right? 

Right. 

In those times that I can’t see your face 

Your voice takes it place 

I imagine you smiling 

And I return it with my heart beating 

But then you went away 

Even though it’s late, I wondered why you couldn’t stay 

It’s sad that I can’t hear your sweet voice anymore

Ever since you walked out of the door