My boyfriend (bass) and his friend made an awesome song! Now, to add lyrics.
First one or second one?
I DON’T KNOW WHICH ONE TO PICK!!
I got accepted to University of Houston!! I can’t wait for fall!
It’s times like this where I feel I’m Jay Gatsby and I’m still obsessed over Daisy.
I sent an anon (I’m too shy okay!!) message to this blogger I admire. I told her that her photography inspires me to write poems and to keep up the good work. All she said was, “wow.”
Why do I get the feeling I have offended her. Jesus.
There’s a chance I might go to Italy in May. Oh, please I hope I do go!
There’s something I need to get off my chest and I’m not sure how to make sense of it. It’s like a mixture of happiness and loneliness, but I think the happiness part of it is misguided. I feel like the people I made connections with is gone. It hurts to see them happy with someone else. The role I used to have with them is replaced to nothing. I can’t do anything but just to let it go. I spoke to one of them earlier and it’s different now. I try to be happy but it’s not the same anymore. I can’t look at that person without being angry about our lost promises. Weren’t you the one who said we’ll be neighbors when we get older and be best friends forever? I know I have been replaced and while it hurts to see it right in front of my face, all I can do is smile and pretend its okay. The word “friend” seems so foreign to me now. I have a lot of acquaintances but not friends… not anymore. I try my best to be more social but I feel so anxious around people and I become aloof even if that’s not how I wanted to act. I feel so lonely and thinking about past friendships just breaks my heart even more. I also kept thinking about “her”. It’s been almost two years since we last spoke and I’m so angry at her for what she did to me but I miss her. I miss our friendship even if it was a lie. Everything now is a lie.
You promised you’d come home
But I found myself alone
In the bedroom where you and I sleep together
But recently I realized you’ve become bitter
You needed your space you say
So I gave in to your way
But the moment I leave
You couldn’t bear to be without me
So imagine my heartache
When you admitted you made a mistake
You kissed someone else’s lips
And after all our hardships
This is how you end things?
What about my feelings?
You smirked when you told me
How his lips tasted so sweetly
That used to be me…
Writing a eulogy is so difficult thing to do.
My grandmother unfortunately passed away two days ago. I don’t understand how I’m coping. It’s like I’m smiling and then the next I bawl like a little baby. I feel intense guilt because I can’t be there for her funeral since she is in the Philippines. It’s the same when my grandfather died. I feel so useless. I’m not even there to see them one last time. The last image I have of my grandparents were of them crying because my family and I have to go back to America. The next time I see them will be in a cemetery…
And I’m so angry! I need my friends support but they are not here at all. I sent one of them message on Facebook and all she did was fucking read it and she hasn’t replied back. And she’s still online. Ugh, I’m disgusted and I’m also heartbroken. I lost a family relative and I’m probably going to lose a friend because I’m not gonna let what she did slide.
My grandparents were the greatest of all. They were always there for me, my sister, and my cousins. They loved all of us equally. I would sometimes get annoyed because they were always around, wanting to talk but… now I want to talk to them and I can’t anymore. And I haven’t seen my father cry. He already lost his parents. It’s like he’s holding all his grief on his own. And my cousin hasn’t eaten since she found out the news. My grandparents raised her since her mother was trying to find a job here in the States. I haven’t spoken to her. I don’t know what to say. I mean, I can’t ask her, “are you okay?” Of course she’s not okay.
I don’t know what to do anymore