I hate the long distance…
I came across an old, OLD Facebook message from my ex. Man, have you ever felt that moment where you just want to cry and apologize to a person so badly? Yeah, this is me right now. I don’t know where he is and I can’t find him on any social network. He’s a freakin’ hipster so I bet he’s got some cool username that I can’t simply guess. Our last conversation was him and I being friendly again. He wanted to be friends, but I declined because I was already dating the man I am with now and told him I can’t be bothered to speak to old lovers. BIG FUCKING MISTAKE. I wish I could have been friends with him. He is a wonderful man with a kind heart to boot.
The regret is heavy on this one.
My boyfriend (bass) and his friend made an awesome song! Now, to add lyrics.
First one or second one?
I DON’T KNOW WHICH ONE TO PICK!!
I got accepted to University of Houston!! I can’t wait for fall!
It’s times like this where I feel I’m Jay Gatsby and I’m still obsessed over Daisy.
I sent an anon (I’m too shy okay!!) message to this blogger I admire. I told her that her photography inspires me to write poems and to keep up the good work. All she said was, “wow.”
Why do I get the feeling I have offended her. Jesus.
There’s a chance I might go to Italy in May. Oh, please I hope I do go!
There’s something I need to get off my chest and I’m not sure how to make sense of it. It’s like a mixture of happiness and loneliness, but I think the happiness part of it is misguided. I feel like the people I made connections with is gone. It hurts to see them happy with someone else. The role I used to have with them is replaced to nothing. I can’t do anything but just to let it go. I spoke to one of them earlier and it’s different now. I try to be happy but it’s not the same anymore. I can’t look at that person without being angry about our lost promises. Weren’t you the one who said we’ll be neighbors when we get older and be best friends forever? I know I have been replaced and while it hurts to see it right in front of my face, all I can do is smile and pretend its okay. The word “friend” seems so foreign to me now. I have a lot of acquaintances but not friends… not anymore. I try my best to be more social but I feel so anxious around people and I become aloof even if that’s not how I wanted to act. I feel so lonely and thinking about past friendships just breaks my heart even more. I also kept thinking about “her”. It’s been almost two years since we last spoke and I’m so angry at her for what she did to me but I miss her. I miss our friendship even if it was a lie. Everything now is a lie.
You promised you’d come home
But I found myself alone
In the bedroom where you and I sleep together
But recently I realized you’ve become bitter
You needed your space you say
So I gave in to your way
But the moment I leave
You couldn’t bear to be without me
So imagine my heartache
When you admitted you made a mistake
You kissed someone else’s lips
And after all our hardships
This is how you end things?
What about my feelings?
You smirked when you told me
How his lips tasted so sweetly
That used to be me…